Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm addicted

Ok - In no way am I a fashionista. I never have and never will be. I've always aspired to be that girl who looks fabulous and cool. Note I said aspired.

There are days I think I'm way heavier than I am. My mind still sees that 300+ person inside the smaller body. Self image is hard to change. But some days, when I have on something cool, I think I'm smaller than I really am. I'm thrown quickly back into reality when I see myself in a mirror, though. I can't win...

Except for shoes. I have cool shoes. They are my favorite thing you can wear. Oh, and watches, too. No matter how short, tall, wide, skinny, chubby, fill in your own adjective here, you can have cool shoes and watches. My shoe love started when I was little. Remember going to the store to get your new school shoes? And remember being able to put your dumpy, smelly old ones in that new box, so you could wear your new ones home? I do. Remember taking your new shoes to bed with you? You don't ? I sure do. No, I didn't wear my shoes to bed... I actually slept with them... like a stuffed animal. After I got a little older, even I realized this was crazy – so I switched to displaying my new shoes right next to my bed. That way, anytime I could just roll over and take a look at my new prize possession.

Watches became an important part of my wardrobe when my Dad would travel and bring back cool watches. I still have my bicentennial white watch with 13 stars for the clock. Very cool. My collection includes a Swatch watch from Africa, a Disney watch that has the Genie pop out, a Little Mermaid watch that plays "Under the Sea" and a Swatch watch with naughty bunnies (an anniversary gift) - all very cool. I end up wearing my uniform watches usually, though. So if you see me wearing one of these, you're lucky... as I only bring them out for special occasions and when I'm in the mood.

My shoes aren't what you'd think a designing professional would have in her wardrobe, though. I do own some heels - but I'm a 6-footer in them. I don't need help being noticed as a large person, so adding height isn't always good. Plus, I've had foot surgery. I simply can't bend one of my feet now, since that surgery. So cancel out anything more than 2 inches because of that. I also have this weird thing against skinny heels on a heavy person. Again, my weight and height just look funny... like an orange on 2 toothpicks.

I just bought a new pair of school shoes. I know, I know, I'm not in school (hey, actually, I AM). I still call my Fall/Winter shoes for work, school shoes. My heavy weights. Shoes that I can rely on. Yes, I love Summer shoes - who doesn't? And yes, I have loads of them, as a pair of flip flops are way cheaper than boots. But my Fall/Winter shoes are my sure things. These are my classics that will last the decade with me. They better, as they cost a fortune. Some women spend more on heels. Not me, I spend on Keens and Merrells, etc. I just bought a new pair of black school shoes – on sale, of course. They're actually gray, so they could be kinda cool. They haven't even arrived at my house (free shipping takes patience), and what does onlineshoes.com do? They send me an email with an even bigger discount on more Keens.

Here's the shoes they sent me, thinking I'll love them. Luring me to their site like a moth to the flame. It is as if they knew that I needed a pair of ORANGE mary janes! They're crack dealers and I'm addicted. Where does one go for detox for shoes?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Jerk on Carnegie

Yeah, you're a major dicky jerk. I paid $20 to park my Jeep at St. Maron's church on Carnegie on Saturday night. I had free tickets to see the tribe and it was really nice out. So I drove my Jeep – with the top down. All three games this year I've driven the Jeep downtown with the top down. So why anything different this time?

This time I paid to park in a CHURCH's parking lot. A CHURCH! I backed into a spot on the second tier of a garage. I was on the top, with no roof over me – overlooking Carnegie. With tons of people walking and driving by.

The asshole jumped into my Jeep with no respect of anyone but himself. I know it was a guy – as we saw 3 of them WORKING at the garage. It was really nice of you to help yourself to my stuff in my center console. Because there was nothing of interest to you, thanks for leaving it all over on my seats. You didn't want my umbrella? Or my sunglasses, garage opener, college parking passes? I wonder why? Because there are MINE, you ass.

So you didn't find anything you wanted in my console, you thought it was OK to break my glove box. You didn't get in, as Jeep makes a superior locking system for assholes like you. And if you did get it open, you'd had found NOTHING! But in return, you scratched my glove box and you broke it. Thanks efing asshole.

You have no respect for other people's things and you thought only of yourself. Next time, I'll park in a dimly lit lot where it is safe.

A long way to go and a short time to get there...

Yeah, I just quoted a country song. No clue what it is, but know it's from Smokey and the Bandit (Sumbitch! is the other funny thing I remember from that movie)

Work is extremely busy. And me, being a nitwit, booked vacation for this week.
Historically, I end up working extra hours in advance before my time off. I'm not sure if it is me or just the nature of my work. I think both. Here's why:

1. I work where people don't plan too much. Can't do much about that. And no one cares if you go on vacation – the work still needs to get done. Interesting how I am expected to rush because of OTHER's vacations...

2. I really don't have a back-up. This is a good thing sometimes. But not when I'm out on vacation. So if it has to get done, it has to get done by me.
3. I just hate other people having to do my work. I blame my parents on this... too much pride, I guess. But others have no problem asking / expecting help. So I have myself to blame for some of this.

I work two days this week and I'm trying to put the entire week's worth in. Not going to happen. Especially with my Flash class tonight. I just can't work til 8:00 tonight. At the end of the day, it won't matter, either. I also find it ironic that the MOST IMPORTANT PROJECT EVER, is not in my hands, as promised. Typical. And it will be typical that I'll be at work tomorrow way past 5:00. blah.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Random thoughts

It's that time again... busy at work and home. I can't figure it out why, too. I run myself thin every September. Is it because I won't do much during the Summer, aka, my time? Maybe so.

I'm in class two nights a week. It was really frustrating at first, as it is a difficult concept to grasp. It took about 5 classes before I had the "ah-ha" moment – and finally am "getting it". I continue to be grateful I'm auditing the class. I'm dead tired afterwards, but also wired at the same time. Go figure.

I'm avoiding doing my last will and testament. It is just bumming me out.

I need an oil change and I'm having difficulty finding the time to either a) sit and wait, b) drop it off and just walk around at the Big Lots across the street or c) be a bum and ask for a ride.

I'm having a hard time getting dressed in the mornings now. Do I dress for Summer or Fall? It has been nice outside, but exceptionally cold at work. I love fall clothes, but it is not technically fall yet... one must not rush the season.

My tan is starting to fade – and that is making me sad.

I am able to fit into clothes better – even with the morning undecisiveness.

I'm a great Aunt – not a a Great Aunt. We spent this past Saturday doing a "Fun Day". It involved eating pancakes, a zoo, Friendlys and a book store. This week should be filled with Memphis Kiddie Park and McDonalds. Whatever makes an 8 year old and 4 year old happy.

I just spent $148 on magazines for said 8 year old's school fund raiser. Again - great aunt. :) I'm sure she'll win a prize because of me. I was able to buy surpresents and picker-uppers.

I hate it when co-workers whisper in their cube... just annoy me with normal talk. If you're going to annoy me – at least talk loud enough for me to eavesdrop. As for the nail clipping co-worker: you can stop doing that at work.

I am addicted to my Mac. And I have a new one. It has been a couple of hard days getting used to the new one and getting settled back in.

I was invited to a free all-you-can-eat Indian's game with Cliff Lee pitching tomorrow night – but can't go because I have my class. I wanted to skip, but just can't. I refuse to get behind, even if I'm auditing.

My Jeep's top has broken twice now – probably due to operation error (me). When I put the top up according to their instructions, it leaks - a lot. So, I don't care about breaking dumb straps every year because I can put it up without leaking. Dumb.

I have a 15" or so arm. Had to borrow a tape measure to find out. Do you know what your arm size is? Those of us who feel as if a python is squeezing the life out of your arm while your blood pressure is being taken know your arm size.

I'm too exhausted to go home – so I can crash at home. Hope you're having a good September.

Friday, September 5, 2008

I need one of these

Who knew they made little cheeseheads?* I already am the proud owner of a cheesehead – but it fits on MY head. (my blog picture above is proof that I own one – and what you can't see is the background of Lambeau Field).

*note: the cat being humiliated in the picture below is not mine – some other Packer fan's method of cat torture.

I know I could actually dress one of our three cats, Jake. He's clueless of his near humiliations if I bought any of the funny cat costumes in the pet sections of stores. (He has M to thank.) I've refrained myself from buying a Halloween outfit for the past two years, but I did buy a 75% off Christmas elf hat a couple of years ago. Jake was had zero interes in it, other than dragging it around as a toy. Below is the best I could do:

In no way am I one of those weird pet people that dresses/humiliates pets. No way, not me. But come on – this is funny. And I KNOW I could get Jake in the spirit of the Packers's home opener against the Vikings on the 8th... I just need one of those little cheeseheads! I'll have to settle for my Packers flag for the porch. Go Pack!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How one moment can make a difference

I received an email yesterday from our development's Board president. She was sending out news to the other board members, but also sent it to me, knowing I'd want to know the news.

The update is about a man who had fallen near our pool this summer. The lifeguard, M and I helped him and I called 911 to assist him. It bothered me that someone was hurt and alone. I even called twi nearby hospitals to see if he had been admitted. Basically, I was trying to see if he was OK. He wasn't at either of the hospitals, so my search continued by asking residents on any news. No one really knew of him, just that he lived in our development by himself.

I remember he didn't have any family or friends to help him that day. If I fell, I'd want someone to call M right away. If he was not in, I have 2 brothers and their families, my parents and loads of friends I could call for help in an emergency. He had no one other than us that day when he fell.

I found yesterday his out of town relatives reported in he is still in the hospital since June 29. He has an inoperable brain tumor and he will probably not recover.

This news hit me really hard. Since that Sunday in June, I think of him every time I walk down that hill. Every time I keep thinking we'll hear he is OK. I even imagined meeting him again in a residents meeting in the winter – hearing his story. But I don't think that will happen. I don't know what to do – do I try to contact him at the hospital? "hi, it's me – remember me? I'm the one who said 'you're doing the right thing and that you'll be OK'". But he's not OK.

I can't get it out of my head how quickly someone's life can change. M and I are in the midst of doing our wills. It really upset me thinking of life without him. It is my biggest fear of all. And the odds are it will happen, too.

Last night, during the Republican convention, there was a story on Ronald Reagan. He was quoted on the day after he was shot, saying "when I woke up, there was Nancy by my side. I pray I will never have a day where she is not by my side." I hope this, too for M and I. And I hope that the man at the hospital since June 29th feels someone is by his side, too.