Friday, September 16, 2011

My mom, band aids & being a wife...

My mom has always said that there is nothing worse than one of her kids hurting. It didn't matter if it was a fat lip or a broken heart - hurt was hurt. And as a mom, I know she tried to take the pain away. Sometimes, a band aid would do the trick. Sometimes she'd tuck my hair behind my ear and pat me on the back. She would tell me to ignore those mean girls or that that boy wasn't worth my heart ache. And sometimes she kept away the boy who was bad for me. (she was right, but don't tell her - because she already knows).

My mom has also said it crushed her when her husband (my dad) hurts. Again, it could be a hip ache, a mean family member or an employer that undervalued him. All hurt, but my mom would always try to take it away.

I'm not a mom - by choice. I admit, I would have been a really bad mom at times. I have no idea how my mother did not smother me in my sleep. I guess the patience thing comes with simply being a mom. And jail time was too severe for punishment.

A dear friend that is a priest once told me that it is OK to NOT be a mom - but I had to be MOTHERLY and MOTHER-LIKE, instead. What the heck? At the time, I didn't understand, but I think I do now. It means to protect at all costs.

I am a wife now. And even though my husband is a bit older than me, I find myself being protective of him. As you know now, I have been the protector of friends, etc. growing up (see post on bullies). So I think it is natural for me to be protective of my family.

No one or nothing messes with my husband. Period. Sometimes a band aid works. Sometimes a hug. And sometimes I'm up all night losing sleep when he's had a broken heart or been smashed to the ground. Me losing sleep may not really take away the hurt, but I will lose the sleep for him any night, so he can get a good night's rest and take away the pain.

Maybe I would have been a good mom, because I'm finding I will protect my family at all costs... but what I found is that I'm a better wife by knowing my mom.

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